Additional Awesomeness...

Friday, September 14, 2012

Solicited advice - of course I gave it!

I'm the Mom-cess

Two years ago, I dressed up as the 'Momcess' for Halloween.  It was epic.  Mostly because a) I embarassed the hell out of the kids & Grumpasaur, and b) I totally swept the costume contest at work in the "Most Creative/Original" category.  It was just icing on the cake that Grumpys vasectomy was scheduled that day, and I showed up to his appointment with tiara & scepter.  Like I said. EPIC.

I wore an old black bridesmaid gown, my wedding tiara, and fashioned a scepter for myself from a blue toilet bowl brush dipped in glue & glitter & adorned with curly, glittery ribbons.  I even made myself a ribbon, with the word Momcess spelled out in glitter glue and pinned with one of my grandmothers' old rhinestone brooches.  I made a cape out of an old flannel receiving blanket & diaper pins.  I covered myself in my mom & grandma's old gaudy necklaces, and threw on some of my neices plastic rhinestone rings for good measure.  I. ROCKED.

Lately, I've been feeling less than 100% respect out of my meth-monkeys, so I've been wearing my tiara around the house at random times.  I've gone so far as to completely ignore them unless the address me as Queen Mum the Fabulous.  Of course, the rabid hyenas masquerading as human boys thought that was just hilarious, and tried calling me Queen Poop of the Potty and Mum-booger and the like, which was not so great.  Kept them in fits of the giggles, but thankfully, I could completely ignore them because, after all, they weren't properly addressing their Queen.

Strangely, I got quite a bit done while I glided around the house in my tiara, completely ignoring the antics of my crackhead-kiddies.  Amazing what accessorizing for weekend housework can do for your self-image.

Try it.  You'll like it.  Now if I only fit into my wedding dress...maybe I'll find a good and gaudy prom dress at the Goodwill for a buck or 5...where's my scepter?

Picture it with glittery tips & curly ribbons.  PERFECTION! 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

9/11/01 - Never Forget

Just taking a minute, while Grumpasaur is all dressed out, paying his respects to the fallen, the working and the future, public safety personnel, to acknowledge those who were lost, those who did their jobs and those who were left behind.  The bell should be ringing about now - Grumpasaur's job this year.  It's also the first year I have not been at the Pelco/Schnieder Electric memorial since we've been married.  But I'm taking my moment of silence, to remember & reflect.

Thank you to everyone who serves this great country, ensuring that we can continue to enjoy the freedoms & privileges you safeguard so well.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Phew! Thank goodness that's over!

You know, I've always loved long weekends.  Lazy days filled with family togetherness and fun pastimes.  Or something like that anyway.  In my daydreams.

Not so much this weekend.  We moved.  Not far, but it was still a move, which meant hundreds of boxes, bags, bruises, scrapes & tears.  And that was just the adults!

Downsizing is never easy, and I've never actually had to do it before.  We've always moved UP that particular ladder, until now.  And we've never moved 3 kids before either.  Last time we moved, Stanky was only 6 months old, Drama was 3 and neither had much in the way of "stuff" or, the most dastardly of all bad guys, "opinions".

And apparently, the opinion virus has struck all of the males in my house.  I mean, seriously, the home is the Queen's Castle, and even though the man may BE the King of said Castle, without the Queen, it would just be a bunch of cold stone walls, stinky socks and TV dinners.

I am the QUEEN.  In a vain attempt to remind certain people of that fact, and the associated, irrefutable fact that I am, in fact the QUEEN of any castle this gaggle of humans chooses to inhabit, I donned my crown yesterday for a while. 

I emptied boxes, cleaned a nasty oven, did laundry, organized cabinets, and entertained whiny small boys while wearing my crown.  They had the gall to make fun of me.  Grumps even asked why I was wearing it, then just shook his head sadly when I tried to explain.  I suspect he only heard Charlie Brown's teacher - wah wah wah, wha ah ah ah, wah aah ahh wah ah.

Here's how it went for me, just because I feel like venting it all out there for the 12 of you who care ;)

  • Took Friday off.  Spent it painting spots in the new house the landlords felt did not deserve paint, like the wall behind the fridge & beside the stove, which you happen to stare at when you are in the dining room, or sitting at the bar, or pretty much anywhere in that general area.
    • Also cleaned oven that was 'professionally cleaned' before we ever set foot in the house.  I cleaned it twice - it was that disgusting.
    • Wiped down walls because they looked streaky and sticky.  Discovered that all walls were painted in flat paint, which just so happens to absorb a streak of anything that touches it, making it look dirty no matter what you do to it.
    • Thought about painting the entire house because, well, you can't use semi-gloss paint to "touch up" walls painted with flat paint.  Thoughtchewnew!
    • Took 3 loads of stuff over to the new house.
    • Wiped out & sanitized all kitchen drawers & cabinets.  Again, they were "professionally cleaned".
    • Ditto for bathroom cabinets.
    • Cleaned tub/showers that were clean before the window dude showed up and tromped all over them in dirty shoes.  GROSS.
    • Aggravated my foot injury from a month ago.  Limped around all night.
    • Even better?  Picked up a heavy box & started my period.  Oh. Even. YESSER.
    • Got a call from Comcast that install appointment moved to SUNDAY.  Yeah, a whole day with no internet or television.  This does not look good.
  • Spent Saturday snarking back and forth with Grump all day, because really, who can move without an argument?
    • Threw kids out of the car at Nana's house - who wants those whiners underfoot all day while I'm busy packing and snarking?
    • Cracked embarassing jokes about makeup sex when unaware of my fathers' presence.  What else could I do when confronted with Grump & his man-friends, with me as the lone little female?
    • Sold 2 large pieces of furniture that had no place in the new place.
    • Moved a metric ton of crap - a crapton. 
    • Unpacked half a crapton.  Mostly kid-crap & crap essential to survival.  Like the TV & DVD's.
    • Tried to put kids' new rooms into some semblance of order.
    • Fed moving minions
    • Washed Dishes that were clean before being wrapped in newspaper.  Yeah, those were the things I packed before I was blessed with "real" packing paper.
    • Inhaled the lasagne & garlic bread Nana brought us for dinner so I wouldn't have to find something to cook.
    • Limped around all day on my painful foot.
    • Bent over like an octogenarian with end-stage osteoporosis because my back felt fused from T12 to about L4.  Nope, meds did not help with that.
    • Ended up sleeping fitfully due to the presence of 3 extra bodies in & around the bed.  Which really made my back feel better donchaknow.
  • Spent Sunday with a bit less snark, more whining from small people.
    • Discovered that there are no flipping studs in the walls of the new house - explains all the anchor bolts & screws.
    • Unsuccessfully attempted to rescue the cable dude from 3 small boys intent on getting their Bakugan fix. 
    • Unpacked another crapton of stuff.  Discovered that all empty hangers were left at old house - lots of clothes on floor now.
    • Took big dog to self-serve dog-wash.  She was not pleased.
    • Drama of the family & moving type whilst elbow-deep in eau-de-dog
    • Put off grocery store again
  • Monday was more whining.
    • Taught Drama & Thing how to walk the dog.
    • Discovered the pocket park is WAAAAAY overwatered.
Thank GOD it's Tuesday and I'm back at work.  Although, I'm not working much - doing more obsessing about what I need to do at home, and getting work-stuff done between topics.  Aaaaand I realized I hit save instead of publish, so here I am again on Wednesday.  Can anyone say Sleep Deprived?