How do you do it?

Somebody, please tell me HOW you explain to your 8-year old son that no, he did not actually wet the bed last night...

Anyone?  Anyone?

What in the WORLD?

Weird things are happening.  I thought there was an earthquake last night - it was just Piggy rolling out of his bed (which shook the entire house).

I discovered that there are WAY more ladies just as twisted and sarcastic as me at our church.  Of course, going on retreat and spending 3 days and nights acting like tweens at a sleepover will do that.

I'm also going to be (gasp!) guest-posting next month!  Like, writing something for reals y'all.  Over here it's just me rambling on and on, but this will be, like, totally something I had to think about and like, edit.  It's ca-ray-zee!

I'll give you more deets when I get them.  I turned my shizz in before the deadline, now it's just a waiting game.  Unless of course, she comes to her senses, laughs her tooshie off and sends the thing back to me full of red lines and sarcasm...

LiveLoveDIY: 10 Creative Ways To Update Your Kitchen Using Pain...

LiveLoveDIY: 10 Creative Ways To Update Your Kitchen Using Pain...: This is my story of how to paint a kitchen. It was outdated when we moved in, and I had zero dollars to renovate it. So, instead, I got cre...

The Definition of 'Nothing'

This is the dictionary.com definition of nothing:

noth·ing [nuhth-ing] noun


1. no thing; not anything; naught: to say nothing.
2. no part, share, or trace (usually followed by of ): The house showed nothing of its former magnificence.
3. something that is nonexistent.
4. nonexistence; nothingness: The sound faded to nothing.
5. something or someone of no importance or significance: Money is nothing when you're without health.   This is my new definition of nothing:   noth·ing [nuhth-ing]     also; nuffink, nuttn, noffin noun   1. not a thing. as in, not a thing I'm willing to tell you about for fear of getting my butt kicked. 2. no part. as in, noffin of da batman gettid broked. (usually requires immediate investigation) 3. something that is nonexistant.  as in, Deres nuffink to do. (nothing involving the mayhem I am known for) 4. of no importance: i not dewin nuttn (wite now). (also requires immediate investigation & detox readiness)