What's. That. SMELL!!!

Door #1 - Sunday AM
Me: 'Hmmm.  Is J burning the fire pit this morning?  Where's TT3?'
D: 'Ug.' Focuses more intently on gun show.

Me: 'No really, What's That Smell?'

TT1: 'MOM!  THE KITCHENS ON FIRE THE KITCHENSONFIREHURRYUPITSBURNING!! TT3 set the kitchen stove on fire!'
D: comes off couch like rocket in butt.
TT1: waves charring red towel around 'I found it, it's this thing!'
Me: from the couch, 'TT1 don't wave the towel around you'll make it flame up!'

D: 'Geez babe, don't get up or anything.'
Me: 'You've got this Mr. Fireman.'

As we ponder how in the heck TT3 was able to set a towel on fire when not even in the room, our heighted and honed powers of investigation revealed that:
   a) TT3 hates towels hanging on the oven handle
   b) He yanks them down and tosses them high
   c) It is entirely possible that TT3 threw the towel onto the stove
   d) TT3 was observed climbing the stove to play with the knobs, so yes, TT3 did, in fact, set fire to the kitchen.

And 3 hours later, I attack the pile of dishes in my sink, and find, buried in the middle, the scorched towel and a pot holder.  No wonder it still smelled like fire in the kitchen.


Door #2 - Sunday PM
Me: 'Ugh, why does it smell like a$$ in here?  TT2 did you fart?'
TT2: 'Nope, not yet.'

Me: 'Boys, upstairs, PJ's and bed.  And throw down all the dirty clothes.'
Boys gleefully pitch every article of clothing they can reach over the railing.  Extra points if you get chonies stuck in a decorative wall hanging.

Now the smell is downstairs.  And it's fermenting.  ICK.

Me: 'Boys!!!  WHAT IS THAT DISGUSTING SMELL??  I thought I told you to bring anything peed-on down immediately!'

Boys, in chorus: 'Idunno. ME!  Maybe pee? The cat peed on it. Not me.  ME!'

Boys in bed, I attack pile of laundry.  Of course, I neglect to turn on extra light, because TT3 will just start howling.  Then, IT HAPPENED.  I grabbed something squishy, clammy and smelly. 
Me:  ';EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!!!'
D: sigh 'What now?'
Me: 'Squishy laundry!  What's that smell! NASTY!'
D: 'Snuck one by ya again huh?'

Thanks babe, for that insight.  Oh, and you can clean that corner of carpet where the nasty squishy smelly pee chonies, shorts and shirt were fermenting under the wet bath towel and piles of dry yet boy-sweaty clothing for Maude knows how long.  This is what Maude thinks of fermented pee-smell:

The Project

So, TT1 and I have a project.  It was "supposed" to be a daddy & son type project, but suffice to say, it's turned into mommy-son bonding project.

We bought TT1 an old desk off craigslist.  Really, for 10 bucks, you can't go wrong.  Did it look like crap?  Yes.  Was D astounded that I'd even consider paying $10 for such a hideous pile of kindling?  Oh even yesser!

But, it's living in our garage, patiently waiting a few weeks for someone to give it some love and attention.  Here is a "before" photo:

Doesn't look too bad here, but those chunks in the veneer were my nemesis.  And the rope detail around the desktop - nasty to sand!  And the triple-flute between all of the drawers - oh MAUDE I hate that molding no matter how pretty it is!

Here are the post 3 hours of putty-ing, rough sanding and sweat photos:

8 drawers later...

Aidan actually did some work - I'm so proud :)

The back didn't look bad at all, too bad the rest was crap.

It actually cleaned up pretty nicely.  The top is crap, but that's what glass is for right?

Amazing, but TT1 actually sanded 3 drawer fronts.  He also took off all of the hardware himself.  Of course, after 3 drawer fronts, he was done and "swedding like a little piggy", so he abandoned me for the pool.  And his bike.  And some crazy game filled with ropes and towels with TT2.  Pretty much anything but the actual work that needed to be done.

But, the rough sanding is done, and it just needs a hit with some fine-grit and tack cloth before I turn it into a satiny black treasure.  And, when it's all said and done, you can't buy a desk like this for $50, so the sweat equity is TOTALLY worth it.

I must say though, I am feeling all of those crazy positions I contorted into to sand the dang thing...I am SO not 23 anymore!  I think more wine is in order tonight.  Maybe by Saturday I'll be ready to tackle this thing again.

Then again, maybe not.


UPDATE: The desk from hell is DONE!  TT1 chose the colors: satin black and fire engine red for the trim.  Of course, Grumpasaur decided to paint the trim.  I swear that man is the only person on earth who can turn satin paint glossy!  The point is, TT1 loves his new desk, and that's good enough for me. Here are some more progress shots, and a finished product. Just ignore the kid crap...