I'm the Mom-cess

Two years ago, I dressed up as the 'Momcess' for Halloween.  It was epic.  Mostly because a) I embarassed the hell out of the kids & Grumpasaur, and b) I totally swept the costume contest at work in the "Most Creative/Original" category.  It was just icing on the cake that Grumpys vasectomy was scheduled that day, and I showed up to his appointment with tiara & scepter.  Like I said. EPIC.

I wore an old black bridesmaid gown, my wedding tiara, and fashioned a scepter for myself from a blue toilet bowl brush dipped in glue & glitter & adorned with curly, glittery ribbons.  I even made myself a ribbon, with the word Momcess spelled out in glitter glue and pinned with one of my grandmothers' old rhinestone brooches.  I made a cape out of an old flannel receiving blanket & diaper pins.  I covered myself in my mom & grandma's old gaudy necklaces, and threw on some of my neices plastic rhinestone rings for good measure.  I. ROCKED.

Lately, I've been feeling less than 100% respect out of my meth-monkeys, so I've been wearing my tiara around the house at random times.  I've gone so far as to completely ignore them unless the address me as Queen Mum the Fabulous.  Of course, the rabid hyenas masquerading as human boys thought that was just hilarious, and tried calling me Queen Poop of the Potty and Mum-booger and the like, which was not so great.  Kept them in fits of the giggles, but thankfully, I could completely ignore them because, after all, they weren't properly addressing their Queen.

Strangely, I got quite a bit done while I glided around the house in my tiara, completely ignoring the antics of my crackhead-kiddies.  Amazing what accessorizing for weekend housework can do for your self-image.

Try it.  You'll like it.  Now if I only fit into my wedding dress...maybe I'll find a good and gaudy prom dress at the Goodwill for a buck or 5...where's my scepter?




Picture it with glittery tips & curly ribbons.  PERFECTION!