Now that it's over...

As I alluded to the other day, before this

 And this

 And this (why yes, that is a plastic automatic weapon.  And yes, he is picking his nose with his toe) happened:

We had to drive halfway back home to pick up the (sorta) beach house key.  Our lovely friend 'Stache was keeping an eye on the rabid dog for us, and was sweet enough to drive that bad boy to KC for us.  How sweet is that?  Yes ladies, he's single!

Before we turned around to pick up the key, we stopped at Chelle's in Pismo for some lunch.  Apparently this has become our favorite place to stop, because we eat here every time we are in Pismo.  The boys love getting ice cream with their meals!

So, the drive that is about 2 hours without pee-monsters in the backseat, turns into 3 1/2 hours with them.  The "halfway" point took us almost 2 hours to get back to, but thankfully, only 1 1/2 to get back to our final destination.  By that math folks, our 3-ish hour tour turned into about 7 hours of hell.  Courtesy of MOI, a fact that Grumpy was not about to let me forget.  Nevermind that I offered to fly solo and let him and the rats enjoy the beach.  Needless to say, that didn't happen.

Did I mention I started my period on this day?  Yeah.  Half of those car-stops were for me.  So, bleeding, guilt-ridden, overly emotional AND in BITCH CODE RED.  That's not a recipe for disaster, is it?

So, I was fired on the first day. 

Day 2 (Saturday)
Dear Diary,  Nobody wanted to eat what I made.  And nobody under 5 feet tall wanted to take a direction/subtle nudge/subliminal message/outright demand.  Thankfully, the Swap Meet was a hit, even though Piggy was hell-bent on going to the beach.  Once they discovered the slot car races and model trains, everything was right in their world.  Mommy taught them how to bargain, but only Drama profited from that lesson.  So, they all got to (mostly) empty their brand-spanking new Justice League wallets.  A fairly good time was had by all, despite only about 1/3 of the booths being open, which was weird.  Every other time we ever drove by, the place was jam-packed.

HUGE outdoor model train set-up.  The boys all got a kick out of this.

Off to spend their hard-earned slotcar winnings!

After the swap meet, it was off to the Outlets for a little retail therapy.  Piggy & Drama got some sandal-ish shoes, Grumpy got a nice RLP shirt on clearance for $23, and I, well, I had an adventure at the LBO with Piggy & Stanky. 

Have you ever tried to shop for anything with two crazed boys in tow?  It was not fun.  And, when I gave up and decided I'd just pull a much-needed bra off the rack, Piggy revolted and began kissing all of the underwear mannequins.  On the boobs.  Then he picked the loudest, most attention-getting bras in the place, hugged them closely, sighed 'boooobies' and placed a tender kiss, right over the nippular area on each cup.  I had to get out of there after that.  And of course, the kid got knuckles from dad for proclaming his boob-man status to the world.  What do you say to that?  He's 3.

After lunch, we hit Dinosaur Caves Park for an afternoon of sun & general messing around.  The boys love this park, and the views are spectacular.  BONUS - it was warm at the park.  The beach was C.O.L.D!  The boys got a chance to bust out their "behavior bubbles" (I'm not above bribery during long car trips!) and the soccer ball.

A man and his coffee...

Nights were filled with dinner complaints, dessert requests and card games nobody could win.  Drama & Piggy camped out in the living room, leaving Stanky a bed to himself.  He was not upset about this.

Day 3 - Sunday
Dear Diary, We got to sleep in!  The lack of electronic entertainment meant that we were all in bed by 9 every night.  And, wonder of wonders!  We all slept until 7:30 or 8 every. day.  It was GLORIOUS!!!

I was fired again, because I did not bring enough bacon, and was unwilling to schlep out to the store for more.  Oh darn they each only got 3 slices.  There were eggs and toast and oatmeal and donuts too!  You'd think I starve these boys, the way the carry on about food!

Drove by the swap meet (well, you can see it from the freeway) and it was hoppin.  Every booth, stall and store was open and doing brisk business.  Next time, we will be sure to go on Sunday!

It was cold and WINDY at the beach! We headed out anyway, convinced the winds would die down and we'd have a fun few hours full of sand. We grabbed some burgers to complement the rest of our picnic, and drove out onto the beach at Grover.

Unfortunately, the moment we opened the doors we froze. We scarfed our lunch inside the cozy car, and decided to implement Plan B. Which involved a movie theater and some smuggled drinks. And a reminder of why we made a rule about being 5 before you go to the theater - Piggy took a nice $8 nap that day. And Grumpy got to see about 2/3 of the movie, in between bathroom breaks for Stanky & Drama. We decided to try and find a movie rental place, but all we could find was RedBox. Sadly, the offerings were not much to our tastes, so we ended up with 3 movies at least 1 of us had seen before, and a really weird gangster-type movie with Brad Pitt that was just, well, gory and violent and WEIRD.

After the movie, we decided to drive back out to Grover, and take a ride out towards Sand Highway. We stopped to watch some crazy kite-boarders, and I spied 3 beautiful sand dollars that I quickly snatched up! We saw a bunch of sherriffs haul bootie out to the OHV area, but we never did find out what happened. Got lost on the way home, but, Day 3 ended uneventfully, thank goodness! The kids all enjoyed the Iron Man movie, so that was a big theme in all subsequent conversation. Note to self - bring DVDs next time!

I did have to explain for the gazillionth time again the nuances of KP.  And picking up wet towels off the floor.  For some reason, these boys all seem to think that vacation from school means vacation from chores.  I'm happy to disabuse them of that notion!

Day 4 (Monday)
Dear Diary, got to sleep in a little today.  The donuts and oatmeal were all gone, but thankfully I had gotten some pop-tarts and hidden them, so we have some breakfast.  Of course, that wasn't good enough, so I drove down to MickyD's for some brekkie. 

Cleaned up the house today - we want to be able to come back!  LEAVE NO TRACE is our motto.  Which included a lovely 10 minutes of me, on hands and knees, picking rice out of the dining room carpet where Piggy sat for dinner last night.  We finally got everything packed, cleaned up and put away by 11, and decided to make a stop back at the park on our way out of town. 

Took this with my phone camera!  I KNOW, right?!

We headed home after way too long of a wait for a less than satisfactory meal at a place that shall remain nameless, mostly because I can't remember it.  Traffic in PR was awful getting back onto 46, but it moved pretty well after that. 

Despite the crappy start, it ended up pretty well.  I DID actually smile a few times (and posted a photo of myself without any makeup and a very wind-tossed ponytail), and nobody got hurt, maimed, or otherwise emotionally scarred during this trip.  We made it home and settled back into the routine of school prep and unpacking all the shizz.

The moral of my story?  Always make sure you've got the keys, no matter how many times you have to check everyone else's suitcases!