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Monday, February 27, 2012

Weekends are never long enough.
We spend all week looking forward to the weekEND, but somehow, the weekend is always busier and more packed with unexpected crap than the entire preceeding week. I’ve made a chart to demonstrate.
It’s typical that Monday mornings are usually fairly dramatic. Everyone is missing something. Everyone is grouchy. Everyone blames everything on everyone else, yet nobody is to blame. Tuesdays are worse than Mondays, because we all know what’s coming, and it ain’t nuthin good. Things start looking up on Wednesday, and by Thursday, it’s all pretty much roses. Of course, Thursdays my mom has the kids, so of course they are up, dressed and have fed themselves before I’ve even made it downstairs to find my shoes. Friday, well, everyone is done with a capital D. Friday is test day, so tempers are high, fuses are short and detonation inevitable. Nobody wants to get out of bed, so threats and bribes are common. It’s a miracle we get out the door on time and in one piece, in clothing relatively clean and free of gaping holes.
But by Saturday, the drama has disappeared, only to be replaced by all the things we forgot about during the week. Those pesky parties for kids we don’t know, who we forgot to buy a gift for and end up sprinting thru Target with 3 whiny kids on the way to a place that can only be described as parental purgatory. AKA (insert name of any kid-centric party venue here). Also in this category are all of those things your other half scheduled for himself without even telling you and simply walks/drives/is forcibly kicked off to, whistling merrily while you struggle to shoe a slippery 2-year old who just decided to pee on the carpet. I swear puppies are easier.

By contrast, Sunday, the day of rest, (HA!) evens out a bit. Of course, getting 5 people dressed, sort of fed and out the door in time for church while maintaining the attitude and demeanor of a good Christian woman is a Herculean effort, and Oscar-worthy performance. Did I mention that nobody remembered to do any laundry since Wednesday, so all the kids have to wear are the clothes that ‘mysteriously’ grew gaping holes in the knees during the week?
Have you noticed that I’ve completely neglected to mention evenings? That’s a whole ‘nother chart, lemme tell ya sumthin!

Happy Monday y’all!

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Gimme some love and tell me what you think! No really, I can take it. I'll just double-up on those anti-depressants first.

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