Additional Awesomeness...

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Now that it's over...

As I alluded to the other day, before this
 And this
 And this (why yes, that is a plastic automatic weapon.  And yes, he is picking his nose with his toe) happened:

We had to drive halfway back home to pick up the (sorta) beach house key.  Our lovely friend 'Stache was keeping an eye on the rabid dog for us, and was sweet enough to drive that bad boy to KC for us.  How sweet is that?  Yes ladies, he's single!

Before we turned around to pick up the key, we stopped at Chelle's in Pismo for some lunch.  Apparently this has become our favorite place to stop, because we eat here every time we are in Pismo.  The boys love getting ice cream with their meals!

So, the drive that is about 2 hours without pee-monsters in the backseat, turns into 3 1/2 hours with them.  The "halfway" point took us almost 2 hours to get back to, but thankfully, only 1 1/2 to get back to our final destination.  By that math folks, our 3-ish hour tour turned into about 7 hours of hell.  Courtesy of MOI, a fact that Grumpy was not about to let me forget.  Nevermind that I offered to fly solo and let him and the rats enjoy the beach.  Needless to say, that didn't happen.

Did I mention I started my period on this day?  Yeah.  Half of those car-stops were for me.  So, bleeding, guilt-ridden, overly emotional AND in BITCH CODE RED.  That's not a recipe for disaster, is it?

So, I was fired on the first day. 

Day 2 (Saturday)
Dear Diary,  Nobody wanted to eat what I made.  And nobody under 5 feet tall wanted to take a direction/subtle nudge/subliminal message/outright demand.  Thankfully, the Swap Meet was a hit, even though Piggy was hell-bent on going to the beach.  Once they discovered the slot car races and model trains, everything was right in their world.  Mommy taught them how to bargain, but only Drama profited from that lesson.  So, they all got to (mostly) empty their brand-spanking new Justice League wallets.  A fairly good time was had by all, despite only about 1/3 of the booths being open, which was weird.  Every other time we ever drove by, the place was jam-packed.

HUGE outdoor model train set-up.  The boys all got a kick out of this.

Off to spend their hard-earned slotcar winnings!

After the swap meet, it was off to the Outlets for a little retail therapy.  Piggy & Drama got some sandal-ish shoes, Grumpy got a nice RLP shirt on clearance for $23, and I, well, I had an adventure at the LBO with Piggy & Stanky. 

Have you ever tried to shop for anything with two crazed boys in tow?  It was not fun.  And, when I gave up and decided I'd just pull a much-needed bra off the rack, Piggy revolted and began kissing all of the underwear mannequins.  On the boobs.  Then he picked the loudest, most attention-getting bras in the place, hugged them closely, sighed 'boooobies' and placed a tender kiss, right over the nippular area on each cup.  I had to get out of there after that.  And of course, the kid got knuckles from dad for proclaming his boob-man status to the world.  What do you say to that?  He's 3.

After lunch, we hit Dinosaur Caves Park for an afternoon of sun & general messing around.  The boys love this park, and the views are spectacular.  BONUS - it was warm at the park.  The beach was C.O.L.D!  The boys got a chance to bust out their "behavior bubbles" (I'm not above bribery during long car trips!) and the soccer ball.

A man and his coffee...

Nights were filled with dinner complaints, dessert requests and card games nobody could win.  Drama & Piggy camped out in the living room, leaving Stanky a bed to himself.  He was not upset about this.

Day 3 - Sunday
Dear Diary, We got to sleep in!  The lack of electronic entertainment meant that we were all in bed by 9 every night.  And, wonder of wonders!  We all slept until 7:30 or 8 every. day.  It was GLORIOUS!!!

I was fired again, because I did not bring enough bacon, and was unwilling to schlep out to the store for more.  Oh darn they each only got 3 slices.  There were eggs and toast and oatmeal and donuts too!  You'd think I starve these boys, the way the carry on about food!

Drove by the swap meet (well, you can see it from the freeway) and it was hoppin.  Every booth, stall and store was open and doing brisk business.  Next time, we will be sure to go on Sunday!

It was cold and WINDY at the beach! We headed out anyway, convinced the winds would die down and we'd have a fun few hours full of sand. We grabbed some burgers to complement the rest of our picnic, and drove out onto the beach at Grover.

Unfortunately, the moment we opened the doors we froze. We scarfed our lunch inside the cozy car, and decided to implement Plan B. Which involved a movie theater and some smuggled drinks. And a reminder of why we made a rule about being 5 before you go to the theater - Piggy took a nice $8 nap that day. And Grumpy got to see about 2/3 of the movie, in between bathroom breaks for Stanky & Drama. We decided to try and find a movie rental place, but all we could find was RedBox. Sadly, the offerings were not much to our tastes, so we ended up with 3 movies at least 1 of us had seen before, and a really weird gangster-type movie with Brad Pitt that was just, well, gory and violent and WEIRD.

After the movie, we decided to drive back out to Grover, and take a ride out towards Sand Highway. We stopped to watch some crazy kite-boarders, and I spied 3 beautiful sand dollars that I quickly snatched up! We saw a bunch of sherriffs haul bootie out to the OHV area, but we never did find out what happened. Got lost on the way home, but, Day 3 ended uneventfully, thank goodness! The kids all enjoyed the Iron Man movie, so that was a big theme in all subsequent conversation. Note to self - bring DVDs next time!

I did have to explain for the gazillionth time again the nuances of KP.  And picking up wet towels off the floor.  For some reason, these boys all seem to think that vacation from school means vacation from chores.  I'm happy to disabuse them of that notion!

Day 4 (Monday)
Dear Diary, got to sleep in a little today.  The donuts and oatmeal were all gone, but thankfully I had gotten some pop-tarts and hidden them, so we have some breakfast.  Of course, that wasn't good enough, so I drove down to MickyD's for some brekkie. 

Cleaned up the house today - we want to be able to come back!  LEAVE NO TRACE is our motto.  Which included a lovely 10 minutes of me, on hands and knees, picking rice out of the dining room carpet where Piggy sat for dinner last night.  We finally got everything packed, cleaned up and put away by 11, and decided to make a stop back at the park on our way out of town. 

Took this with my phone camera!  I KNOW, right?!

We headed home after way too long of a wait for a less than satisfactory meal at a place that shall remain nameless, mostly because I can't remember it.  Traffic in PR was awful getting back onto 46, but it moved pretty well after that. 

Despite the crappy start, it ended up pretty well.  I DID actually smile a few times (and posted a photo of myself without any makeup and a very wind-tossed ponytail), and nobody got hurt, maimed, or otherwise emotionally scarred during this trip.  We made it home and settled back into the routine of school prep and unpacking all the shizz.

The moral of my story?  Always make sure you've got the keys, no matter how many times you have to check everyone else's suitcases!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Not my finest moment

The bags were packed.  The car was full.  We drove 3 hours.  Our hearts were full. 

But when we arrived, it seemed all was lost.  In the hustle and bustle, amid the packing and pacing, the most important item was overlooked.

Yes a VERY important, but such a small, thing, was left behind.

I. Forgot. The. Keys. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Conversations with Pigpen

Mom, this shoe doesn't fit and I just COWS! Howthes! OOOO and sheeeps!!!!

And now we're back to shoes.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Sigh. these boys! Everything hurts nothing makes it better mommy's done. Wow. That was a really bad haiku.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Boys and their bikes

So, Saturday was great.  Right up until THIS happened.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, 'That doesn't look so bad.'  But TRUST me, it was.  This pretty pic was snapped about 2 hours post-trauma, after much ice, a tepid bath, and half a popsicle.  Here's a quick breakdown.

1. Make sure mom is inside making dinner, and dad is occupied somewhere he can't see you.
2. "forget" to put on bicycle helmet before riding the neighborhood like a Hells Angel in training.
3. Pop wheelies like nobody's business.
4. Come out unscathed for so long, you get cocky.
5. Decide that, at 6, you can pop that wheelie and continue to pedal your bike
6. Wow, that worked!  Time for the dismount.
6.1 Uh-oh! Speed wobble on the return!
6.2 This was NOT A GOOD IDEA
6.3 Suck in breath to scream - this is so loud that daddy hears it down the street over the noise of the stereo.
6.4 Fly ass-over-teakettle over handlebars. 
6.5 Re-design asphalt with lovely blood-hued ikat print.
6.6 Scream bloody murder while your feet flop uselessly in the air

Drama came running into the house yelling about Stanky and blood, and he needs a towel.  I peeked around him and saw Grumpy holding Stanky's head, blood squirting everywhere, Stanky's eyes rolling around trying to see what was happening.  Notice that Grumpy looks like he's about to freak the freak out, but is holding on by a thread for the kid, who is freaking out enough for, oh, 20 people.

Once we started cleaning up the poor kid, he ended up with an abrasion between the eyes, across the whole upper lip, just under the lower lip, and both knees.  Ok, not too bad right?  Oh so wrong!

His nose bled quite a bit - ok no problem.  We handled that (it's not our first).  But the mouth.  The MOUTH.  Just. Kept. Gooshing.  The lip was so swollen it was hard to get a good look inside his mouth.  Grumpy mentioned it looked like the gums were 'messed up'.  And how, people.  And how.  I called all over town to talk to an on-call dentist.  Because of course this happened at 5:18 pm, which is exactly 18 minutes after any office open on Saturday closes.  One gentleman finally called me back (he was in a conference, on vacation in Florida, but was so concerned with my message he called me back - THAT many deserves my business!)  Once he heard about those mobile teeth, he sent us straight to the ER people.  As in do not pass go, please make sure the jaw isn't broken right now and I will call you back first thing Monday.

Grumpy was awesome - he works at a local hospital and called ahead, so they were expecting us.  Which means that we were fast-tracked trauma-style.  Which still means almost 5 hours in the ER, but seriously, when the ERs in both of our hospitals have been running in emergency triage for months now, that's ah-may-zing. 

Our church was awesome as well.  I called Miss Sue and got our urgent need on the prayer chain.  That was followed almost immediately by a call from our pastor PR, who had just come down from a Men's Ministry campout, where he, himself was injured.  And that guy, people he happened to go to the wrong hospital, but he tracked us down, and came to just be with us for a few hours.  That's love, right there.

We finally saw two ER docs, and they called in the trauma dentist.  Stanky got to have a halo x-ray, which he thought was cool.  Final Dx: Poor kid managed to break the remaining roots off of the top 4 center baby teeth y'all.  Shoved 'em backwards a good 4 mm.  He's going to lose them within a week or two, which is about a year or two sooner than he would have.  Thankfully, the permanent teeth were nowhere near the break, and should erupt normally, at the normal time. 

He also very likely fractured his nose, but it was not displaced in any way, so we just need to watch it. 

He's very sore and still quite swollen - he will have a fat upper lip for weeks.   And he will never, ever stop telling us how much he HATES the day he got hurt, and how he wishes that day never happened.  Me to buddy, me too.



Friday, May 17, 2013

What do ya say to that?

When boy #1 comes to inform you that he ha hair on his junk?

Congrats? Way to grow? Now the stinky pits are making sense?

Seriously y'all, he's 8. I'm not prepared yet!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Future Master-Shooter?

It's one thing for Grumpy to be completely enamored of firearms and how to shoot them.  He's very good, and (I hear) a wonderful teacher.  That's all well and good.

That's him, right in front.

It's quite another thing for your snuggly, sleepy little 3-year old to point his finger at you and make shooting noises.  In his sleep.  In your bed.

At least he wasn't shooting at me.

Relax Ma, it was just a dream...

Monday, May 13, 2013

My little Engineer

Stanky can build ANYTHING.  Seriously.  He once built a functioning cannon out of Legos, TinkerToys and a wine cork.  He also likes to take shizz apart.  Like my bluetooth headset.  And the remote.  And my old cell phone.  Just to see how it all works.

Here is the latest creation...

That would be Thor's helmet and hammer.  I don't have a good side-view of the helmet, but trust me, even I knew what it was before he told me! LOL

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Conversations with Pigpen: Episode, oh, who cares!

Commute time is always quality conversation time with my boys.  This morning was no exception. 

The boys were discussing what color of Corvette they would have when they "got big".  Piggy then announced that he would have EVERYTHING, a mo-sicle, a Vette, a monster truck...this list was quite extensive.

I, being the practical parent I am, stuck my foot right into my big fat mouth when I mentioned that, yes, if you don't get married or have any kids, you can probably have whatever toys you want, as long as you work hard and pay for them.  Things went to hell from there.

Drama: You know, if you don't want a kid, you can just, like, shoot it like, you know, a bad guy.

Me: NO!  That's never ok because geez kid how many times do we have to tell you we don't....

Piggy, breaking in and interrupting my foolhardy tirade: If you done wanna kid, you can just give 'em to Santa.  Theys git wapped up inna pesant and gived out.

Crickets people....CRICKETS.

I related that gem to my mom as I dropped the boys off.  Of course, she had an awesome response...

Nana: Did you ask him where he's going?

You can see where we all get this crap, right?

Friday, May 3, 2013

30-day challenges

Whaddup y'all?  (um, yeah, I don't think that's me, but I'm too lazy to re-type that greeting, so, moving on...)

I've been seeing some 30-day challenges popping up around the blogosphere lately.  Some are inspiring, others look exhausting.  But they all seem to be garnering lots of attention.  I, myself have decided to participate in one challenge. No, it has nothing to do with physical fitness.  It's more spiritual fitness than anything.  And no, I'm not going to elaborate because, well, my husband reads this blog on the rare occasion, and I don't want to spell it out for him.  I'd rather wait and see what happens :)

I thought I'd break down WHY so many people are a fan of 30 (or multiple thereof)-day challenges.  If you are even remotely interested in my opinions (which, BTW are 100% my own), by all means, read on.

  1. 30 days is totally do-able.  I mean, you don't even have to flip the calendar for this one.  It's finite and you can't ever lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. 
  2. 30 days is almost instant gratification.  I'm sure with most challenges of this nature, you can start to see results in as little as 5 days! (or so the advertising would like us to believe)
  3. It's not really long enough to get bored.  Unless you've got the attention span of a gnat, in which case, I'm sure I lost you after the graphic.
  4. If you manage to screw up, or otherwise fall off whatever 30-day wagon you're riding, you can just start over with a minimum of fuss.
  5. 30 is like, a MAGIC number.  In terms of age, you aren't a dumb college kid/recent grad anymore, and you aren't "old" yet either (old being a completely relative term that I bandy about verrry loosely).
  6. BONUS - if there were 30 fluid ounces of wine in a bottle (instead of 25), I could challenge you to share 2 of the 3 FULL glasses you'd get out of it!
I know, I'm full of crap.  But hey, it was distracting for a bit right?

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Conversations with Pigpen: Episode 9

(Better late than never right?)

As we were driving past a local park, around Easter.
Mom! You actually know those guys is playing baseball? Um. Hmmm. Actually, theys hunting. For wabbits n eastuh eggs.

I had no idea baseball included wabbits & eastuh eggs.  Learn something new every day.

Conversations with Pigpen - Formerly Missing Episode 7

I figured out what I did to "lose" 2 piggy posts.  I accidentally posted them to my DIY Blog!  Chalk it up to a new Blogger App and me not knowing how to switch between blogs :)

Without further ado, another of Piggy's Nuggets.

"Mom! Um, uh, hmmmm. Um. Oh! Aidan loves pink! So. We have to get him a pink ball, cause he just loves da pink."