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Saturday, March 10, 2012

The Vacuum and The Big B

I've not often written of the hairy beasts that I call my first children.  I think it's just because my motley collection of actual small people keep my head spinning so fast I can't even keep up with their crap.

So, The Big B has been banished to the outdoors.  She's so old that she kind of has a tendency to walk and relieve herself at the same time.  Of course, Stanky and Skunk-butt have done the same, but I've yet to make them sleep outside or eat off the ground.  Not that they don't beg to do so...

Back to the point.  So, Big B has been hanging around the front of the house.  She rarely leaves, but has recently been spotted in locales as exotic as the back door, and under the fort.  And, as I saw with my own beady little eyes yesterday, curled up with her arch nemesis The Vacuum. 

Now, The Vacuum has also been banished outside lately, mostly due to a raging case of stank-dog.  I'm assuming that the two hairballs either smelled so much alike that they decided to set aside their differences for a few days, or Vacuum simply thought she'd picked up a rag toy.  Either way, they've been snuggling.  It's weird.  For them anyway.

I know!  The whole dog-cat thing is way overrated and most like each other.  Well people - mine DON'T.  In fact, it's safe to say that B would cheerfully have amputated Vacuum's big black nose for nothing more than chilling her behind.  A year ago maybe. 

Maybe it's the camraderie of being stinky exiles.  Maybe it's just really cold at night.  Maybe I'm reading too much into this and need a drink to clear my head.  Maybe I should just...ah SHREK.  I'll just shut up now.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Growing up is hard to do, unless you've got the vocabulary

It's been a long, traumatic and interesting week.  TT2 is now registered for kindergarten, and currently gung-ho for homework.  He's working on his chores to earn attitude stipes for his karate belt.  He's asking me for homework and was overjoyed when I brought home the writing without tears workbook from kindy registration.  I've actually had to dream up crap to keep him busy whilst cajoling TT1 to actually sit on his mangy butt and DO the homework he's been assigned. 
TT2 is crazy excited about kindy, other than not being able to wear his favorite color - camo anything.  I have been informed that this rule is stupid and not faiwuh.  I'd have to agree, because that means his jacket, hats, socks, pants, t-shirts, shorts and possibly half of his underwear, will all have to be replaced before school, which is a shame, because, well, that stuff costs money honey!  And he's not growing all that fast, so I really don't think he will have outgrown half of that stuff by the time school starts.  *Sigh*

TT1 has been going through some tough times, friend-wise.  He expressed his upset about being intentionally excluded by his bestie by shoving said bestie and the two other excluders down during P.E. and then kicking them.  Not his finest 10 minutes I'm afraid.  I was informed by said kicker that friends suck hot sauce and hurt his feelings by calling him stooopid. (picture drawly voice and serious head-shaking here).
On a more positive note, he's earned his honorary black belt and is working towards his first attitude stripes this week, which has him all puffed up and proud.  AND today he got his first ever elementary award!  He received the Power Paw award for excellence in writing!  I couldn't be more proud of him.

Not so proud?  Me of TT3, who this morning decided to flex his vocabulary muscles and tell TT2 to shut the hewl up.  In that squeaky cute little 2-year old voice.  I cringed outside and laughed inside.  He sounded EXACTLY like his dad.  I had to pull over.  Mean mommy-face said 'EXCUSE ME?!  You don't talk like that MISTER!'  Of course, he just smiled at me, said sawwy and offered me half a smooshed and drooly powder donette. 

So, your vocabulary words for the weekend are:

Faiwuh - things that may or may not be just or right, depending on the moment.
Stooopid - dumb things.  Really dumb things.
Hewl - place most moms feel like they are when children loudly exclaim totally inappropriate things that we swear up and down they did not learn at home.

You're welcome.