Season of the Snot-Faucet

It's that time of year again.  Colds viruses are running rampant through my house, car, work and school.  It's inevitable that at some point, all of us will have a run-in with the cartoon boogers from the Mucinex commercials.

Right now, those sufferers are Grumpy and I, as well as PigPen.  Of course, us adults are more like pressurized tanks of snot, while Piggy is definitely a snot FAUCET. 

Can I just tell you how many absolutely horrifying images there are on the internet when you Google 'snot faucet', or pretty much anything to do with snot?  I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I'll spare you the sharing, but I will share an absolutely INGENIOUS invention I ran across

I mean, seriously?!  My kids would have absolutely NO REASON to ask me for tissues, or where the tissue/toilet paper/napkins/shirts are, because it would be located on their head!. Sheer Genius I tell ya.

Grumps has been using the neti pot, at the direction of his physician.  Now, I can't quite bring myself to purposely shove liquid up my nose without panicking or otherwise losing my schmidt.  Because ITS NOT NATURAL.  It's like jumping in the pool without plugging your nose, then coming up for air with a 'WOW my sinuses feel great!'.  Not. Gonna. Happen.

Of course, we could always go the way of the PigPen and simply slime our shirts, moms pants (in the crotch area of course!), or just, well, slurp the snot.

Got any other bright ideas?